Worth It All
1 Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples. He went to the high priest 2 and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he found any there who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem. 3 As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. 4 He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”
5 “Who are you, Lord?” Saul asked.
“I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,” he replied. 6 “Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.”
7 The men traveling with Saul stood there speechless; they heard the sound but did not see anyone. 8 Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could see nothing. So they led him by the hand into Damascus. 9 For three days he was blind, and did not eat or drink anything.
10 In Damascus there was a disciple named Ananias. The Lord called to him in a vision, “Ananias!”
“Yes, Lord,” he answered.
11 The Lord told him, “Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying. 12 In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight.”
13 “Lord,” Ananias answered, “I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your holy people in Jerusalem. 14 And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name.”
15 But the Lord said to Ananias, “Go! This man is my chosen instrument to proclaim my name to the Gentiles and their kings and to the people of Israel. 16 I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.”
17 Then Ananias went to the house and entered it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, “Brother Saul, the Lord—Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here—has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” 18 Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul’s eyes, and he could see again. He got up and was baptized, 19 and after taking some food, he regained his strength.
Saul spent several days with the disciples in Damascus. 20 At once he began to preach in the synagogues that Jesus is the Son of God. 21 All those who heard him were astonished and asked, “Isn’t he the man who raised havoc in Jerusalem among those who call on this name? And hasn’t he come here to take them as prisoners to the chief priests?” 22 Yet Saul grew more and more powerful and baffled the Jews living in Damascus by proving that Jesus is the Messiah.
23 After many days had gone by, there was a conspiracy among the Jews to kill him, 24 but Saul learned of their plan. Day and night they kept close watch on the city gates in order to kill him. 25 But his followers took him by night and lowered him in a basket through an opening in the wall.
26 When he came to Jerusalem, he tried to join the disciples, but they were all afraid of him, not believing that he really was a disciple. 27 But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord and that the Lord had spoken to him, and how in Damascus he had preached fearlessly in the name of Jesus. 28 So Saul stayed with them and moved about freely in Jerusalem, speaking boldly in the name of the Lord. 29 He talked and debated with the Hellenistic Jews, but they tried to kill him. 30 When the believers learned of this, they took him down to Caesarea and sent him off to Tarsus.
31 Then the church throughout Judea, Galilee and Samaria enjoyed a time of peace and was strengthened. Living in the fear of the Lord and encouraged by the Holy Spirit, it increased in numbers.
A Tour of Saul’s Conversion
vv. 1-2: This passage is entitled, by the editors, “The Conversion of Saul.” With that title in mind, I immediately notice two things:
First, this is the fact that the character we encounter in this story is the very last person anyone would have expected to be converted, absolutely the farthest person from Jesus.
In chapter 8, we first met him as a man who “approved” of Stephen’s death, and not only did he give passive approval, he actually got some inspiration from Stephen’s murder. He thought to himself, “Well, look at that! We finally figured out a way to stop Christians.” So, he embarked on a relentless, systematic, violent campaign against the Church in Jerusalem. He started going “house to house, dragging off both men and women, and throwing them into prison.” Luke tells us that his intention was to “destroy” the Church. The Greek word here translated “destroy” is only used one other place in the Bible, and it literally describes the action of a wild animal ripping into its prey. Rabid is the word that comes to mind.
He was wildly successful, reducing the church in Jerusalem to an essentially pre-Pentecost existence. And, even then, he wasn’t content. He pursued Christians across the region, hunting down any who tried to preach the Gospel in their own communities.
Now, fast-forward to the end of the passage, and what do you see?
Yet Saul grew more and more powerful and baffled the Jews living in Damascus by proving that Jesus is the Messiah.
and verse 28:
So Saul stayed with them and moved about freely in Jerusalem, speaking boldly in the name of the Lord.
We’re going to dig deep and discover a lot of amazing things on our journey into this story, but let’s not miss what’s laying right on the surface: God can do whatever he wants. He can reach the person farthest from him. He can use the person most opposed to him to write half of the New Testament and establish the global church. He is the God of the impossible.
Second thing we notice right off the bat about “The Conversion of Saul” is who it is that Saul was trying to destroy before his conversion: not “Christians,” not “the Church,” but “any who belonged to the Way.”
This is one of the earliest names given to Christians, and I think it’s absolutely beautiful because it perfectly describes what it means to be a Christian. It is not a one-time decision, an experience, a moment of “conversion.” It is, instead a road upon which we walk, a Way of life, a new Way of seeing.
“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” -C.S. Lewis
vv. 3-4: A blinding light, a moment of theophany: Saul was suddenly living the story he had, up until that point, only read, which should have been amazing, but quickly turned when the voice spoke: “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”
v. 4: Jesus intimately identifying himself with the suffering of his people. He takes it personally. He considers them his own, not just people, but body. Body of Christ is not a metaphor. Jesus means it literally.
“I in them and you in me.” “Your life is now hidden with God in Christ.”
The ramifications of this are unbelievable.
Relationship
Power
Purpose
Community
v. 5: The right question
The turning point: as long as we keep asking the wrong questions, nothing will ever change.
The question we so often ask ourselves: “Who am I?” This is not a bad question, but it’s not the primary question, and as we’ve learned so often idolatry and heresy are not necessarily about bad things but about good things that are worshipped as “first things.” If you start with this question, not only will you answer it incorrectly (because you’re missing a vital piece of information), the life that flows from the answer to that question will also profoundly miss the point.
Paul could answer this question better than most of us.
In the book of Philippians:
If someone else thinks they have reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: 5 circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; 6 as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for righteousness based on the law, faultless. (Philippians 3:5-6)
We see in the Philippians passage that he defined himself in relation to family, culture, heritage, religion, occupation, belief, action, and just general goodness, in much the same way any of us would define ourselves. He was privileged, talented, educated, driven, disciplined. He was born the best of the best, and he went to great lengths to ensure that he would always be the best of the best. And he was. If pre-Damascus road Saul were here today, we would stick his face on a billboard. We would line up to buy his books, we would give him his own TV show, people would flock from miles around to ask him how they should live their lives. A poster-child for human excellence. All because he clearly knew who he was. He knew what he was born into, he knew what he was passionate about, he knew what he was capable of, and he knew where he was headed. Any way you looked at it, from anyone’s perspective, this guy was a success.
Jesus says it like this, “Whoever would save his life will lose it…”
What then, is the right question? Listen to what Paul says when he sees the blinding light and hears the voice: “Who are you, Lord?”
This is the turn. This the moment of possibility, the moment where a new life begins to open up before him.
It’s a moment of humility, a moment of surrender, a moment of understanding that we have a creator who knows us better than we know ourselves, a moment of recognition that there is more to life than our own little kingdoms
And the right question provides an opportunity to receive the right answer.
v. 5: Here’s the thing though, that answer will ruin often ruin all the other answers we’ve compiled.
The moment of impact: I am Jesus
There are times when he is remarkably gentle; this is not one of those times.
Saul was quite certain that he had life figured out. He had very strong, unchangeable convictions about life and faith and even Jesus. He knew what he believed, until he asked the right question and Jesus answered.
Saul thought he knew what Jesus was all about: a false Messiah who found himself on the wrong end of Roman justice. Then, he saw Jesus risen and glorified, and his entire life collapsed. With a word, “I am Jesus,” his world crumbled. Jesus shattered his plans, dreams, ambitions, preconceptions, religious beliefs, worldview.
Paul would go in Philippians 3, to write (immediately after his astonishing resume):
7 But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ. (Philippians 3:7-9)
Jesus still does this, by the way: he still ruins our lives, rocks us to our cores. Jesus has no desire to remodel our lives. He came to rebuild them from the ground up. To completely ruin our lives, so that he can build up. No stone left standing.
v. 16: I will show him how much he must suffer for my name…
Count the cost: “when Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.”
He is worth it all, worth more than our achievements, our dreams, our perspectives, our worldviews, our failures, our disqualifications, our shame.
What’s remarkable though is that he does rebuild us, and we find that, in finally asking the right question, we receive the answer to both questions: “Whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever would lose his life for my sake will find it.”
v. 9: If you have to point to a moment of conversion, that was it, but as I’ve already indicated, “conversion” is both a moment and a journey, a gate and a road. And, notice where Paul’s road leads first: blind obedience.
Oftentimes this journey of conversion involves long periods of walking in the dark, trusting without seeing, going without knowing.
What does Paul do in the dark? He fasts. We’re not sure what his fast entailed, but I have a feeling he was feasting on Scripture.
v. 10: God called Ananias (a different Ananias)
Community is essential: God didn’t just save Saul and then send him. He saved him into a community. If it’s not enough for the Apostle Paul to go about life with Jesus alone, then it’s not enough for us either.
Here, we get another snapshot of this radical community through a guy named Ananias (and later another guy named Barnabas)
Called
Answered with a “Yes, Lord”
Not at all excited about the commission and told Jesus so
Went anyway
Called Saul, “Brother.” Jesus didn’t tell him to do that. An example of generous obedience, a man who was so in tune with the voice of God that he knew the right name to call Saul.
Don’t forget Barnabas, a man who would fight for someone just because that’s what he did, who would see the best in others.
This is not the whole point of today’s message, but be like Ananias. Be like Barnabas.